MRRRRRRROWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

recently i've been putting a real effort into getting off the internet as much as i can. i feel like the internet only cares about promoting negative content so kitties get more pushed to doomscroll and its not cool!!!!!!! i recently read this zine and i realized that im really not the only one who feels this way. i think everykitty in the long run needs to detatch in someway from the grip the internet has on them. i dont think this means leaving the internet altogether, we kind of need it to live right now lol but i think if its just getting off of tiktok or instagram then thats enough. we need to find more productive ways to be online and social media isnt as productive as we think it is.

in the same vein, we need to be more creative! the internet kind of shoves us into a box of good/bad and that espacially applies to art created. (remember the jelly artsyle drama? i do! that wasnt super cool of us!) so try to do something creative today if you can, and make it just for you. kill the audience in your brain, and just create. :) (ough go watch this too)

today i finally hooked up a pcie wifi card to my pc!!! i had to bend the metal on the side to fit in my case but it still works just fine :3 im trying to procrastinate less, (quick side note my keyboard spacebar is so stuck its making me so mad okijuhygt) and i think im doing pretty well. i finally did a deep clean of my closet a bit ago, and its put me in a pretty good mood :3 so idk if youre reading this go pick 10 things up off the ground. ill do it too :)

okay no i listened to o superman for the first time the other day and holy fuck im so mad with how that song is being used. like yes, its fucking creepy, the hah hah hah thing going on in the back and the very heavily 80s vocoding is fucking eerie as shit but its such a fucking heartbreaking song and its PURPOSEFULLY LIKE THAT its literally about a mom losing her son in the war and it suddenly jumpcuts to the son barely alive saying even when theres no love, power, joy, anything, theres always mom AND DUDE :((((((THE FUCKING "Because when love is gone, there's always justice, and when justice is gone, there's always force, and when force is gone, there's always mom, hi mom. So hold me, mom, In your long arms." LAURIE ANDERSON DO YOU WANT ME DEAD?????????????? /silly before it goes back to the mom JUST AOIUYTFRDFGTHYJUK i love o superman i cant listen to it too much because i fear my mood stabilizers are not strong enough for it /silly but its such a good song and i think everyone just needs to listen to it like a blank slate un-tiktokified and experience it for what the fucking trip it is. i guess there isnt any real lesson ehre today (god i feel like a fucking kids show like okay children pick up your toys or andis gonna take down calicocamcorders ^_^)

ive gotta start taking art more seriously. i am blessed by the ability to do whatever i want right now, i have no job, simple school, etc. and i dont wsnt it to slip away again, i remember how i felt returning from covid.

i think what ethel (i refuse to call her hayden as i do not know her by that name, and i am trying so hard to not be parasocial) said about the constant joking of everything (and equally the "game-ification" of everything, but thats a topic for another day) has made everyones media literacy fall straight to the floor. we need to get back that understanding of what we read, and listen to, and watch, and we need to start by listening intently, and just simply focusing on what we are consuming.

im talking about ethel cain, becuasse perverts was jsut released last night, and i spent my time listening to it on a drive and just focusing, and focusing, and it made me feel so much more of a connection to the album. she doesnt spare any detail, thats something ive always appreciated about her music. perverts is a fucking horrifyingly beautiful album that hits you in the guts on every song, weather it be the backgroud audio (where in one song she straight up samples her vibrator) ptolemaea-esque singing in every song. i also appreciate her shift to this more consistantly ominous sounding music on perverts, i know that ptolemaea was one of her most popular songs, the scream of "stop" like a knocking-the-wind-out-of-you kick in the ribs, but she didnt overtly play into it like these songs were copies of the track.

anyways, today, listen to a song youve listened to a thousand times, but this time try to notice something you mightve missed. keep doing your best, stay safe out there ♡

everyone was pushed so hard this summer to listen to charli xcxs new album 'brat.' and now that its passed enough, I HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY ^_^

first off, let's talk about the music itself. brat is, and was never intended to be listened to in the way that it was released. it was made to be dj bait and remixable to the point that the original was never even seen. this not only gives her an excuse to put out 'unmade' tracks, she can also use the excuse of "well, i'd LIKE to collaborate on these songs anyways" even if people don't figure out that thats the point. while i think her releasing the remixes was her throwing shade at taylor, i think it was also her way to put out more'polished' versions of each tracks, without us noticing that that was the point. and yes, charli xcx has been a dj since she was 14, but is this not more of a reason for her to put out actual quality electronic party music? her constant disinterest seems to not just seep into her music videos, but the music itself.

the entirety of brat either sounds like a first draft sent to a producer as an idea pitch, or like i said, dj bait. the backing tracks last too long even when the beat changes, the drums are all over the place, the lyrics have no rhythm at all-- actually lets play a fun game, go to a song on brat and just pause it and read the lyrics. see what i mean?--brat is not a good album. it doesn't achieve what i wished it did, or it seems, what she wished it did. the album sounds like it wishes it was hyperpop, but her team probably didnt let her make it as messy as it shouldve been to achieve this 'gross' hyperpop sound. but what is hyperpop?

well, if you were a weird autistic teen in covid, you were hyper-aware of how prevalent 'hyperpop' was on all of us. loud jarring beats, voices autotuned to the point you sound like a daft punk recruit, its all been there for a bit. hyperpop is purposefully made by neurodivergent and transgender people as a way for them to express themselves. and yes, i feel the need to state this fact again: at least 70% hyperpop creators are trans, at least from what ive seen as an avid listener of the genre. this erasure of inherently trans music just because a cis person comes along and makes a sterilized mockery of us is horrifying and disgusting on its own. no hyperpop creators will ever be as popular as her, but suddenly she can make the worst charade of us and its constant praise and glory? why will we never be noticed in society unless our culture is attatched to a cis person who comes along and decides its their thing now?

charli knows she wants to make brat hyperpop, this is what she wanted. she had a song planned with gupi--one half of the iconic hyperpop duo 'food house'-- but it never made it to an album. charli KNOWS that hyperpop sounds like, because shes tried to make it, with a popular trans person in the community, no less! but oh no, just when we think we'll be represented, its suddenly not working out. this is so goddamn frustrating. i wish anyone would've put this song out, even as a demo. but instead shes instead gotta promote the largest creators who dont need this attention anyways. even the remixes still feel just as sterile and emotionless, i feel like im drowning in a corperate office work room when i listen to it. she failed on all accounts with brat, but people dont know that. because people dont know hyperpop, but they do know brat.

so, second: the reception. brat became iconic out of nowhere. the way that brat achieves this popularity is solely because it is preying on the need for fandom to be capitalist driven. because of this effect, you cannot simply be a fan of something anymore. you need to prove you own or bought something rare and collectable of that interest to be seen as a "true" fan of it. and of course everyone jumped in to not only promote the album, and themselves in return. and thus, the corporate success: because of the forced FOMO, everyone had brat profile pictures on social media, things were advertised as being a part of "brat summer," hell, the day i got back from vacation the i went to a book store which had a big area in the front advertising brat summer themed books, even ones for specific songs. now, this promotion, and connections with alternate media have been a thing for forever, but the biggest difference with brat is how heavily its pushed to us. her team pushed brat not as an album, but instead the lifestyle it wants the album to be.'brat summer' had to last as long as possible, for the sake of her team, and the coperations that were banking on the sales they were getting because of their associations with the album.

so, brat summer has to last for the sake of everyone, so it was pushed everywhere. sure, you have the free will and choice to stay away from it, but do you want to? do you really want to be ostrasized from your friends and communities for not listening? so go ahead! read the brat summer books, use the face care thats 'everything is romantic' coded, hell vote for kamala! her twitter header is her name in the brat logo. but of course, you dont haveee to, no ones forcing you. except they are, and they must, once again, for the companies sake. and because of that, brat is not an album anymore. this first draft sterilized music shoved to everyone is not your summer 'soundtrack', no. its your summer. its your life. and before long you forget the shitty songs youre playing, because you just have to be brat. and they win.

so what do i wish brat was? i feel the need to adress that i listened to brat after listening to fantano's glowing 10/10 review of it, and was so, so excited to listen. i downloaded all the songs in flac and listened to them on a long drive. as i said, im a huuuge fan of hyperpop, and adjacent shit. and also, i listened to it pretty much when it came out. id heard nothing negative, the only potential swaying factor was fantano, and even still it falls flat to me. why though? well. i think what brat SHOULD'VE BEEN, is advertized as a remixable dj sampler, or a first draft of an album charli couldve put more of her all into. i wish the vocals were more tuned, i with the beats were more layered, i wish someone read through the lyrics one more time to think "hm, is this good, or is this just tiktok edit quotes?" brat feels entirely like a demo, and once again, this is entirely because everyone around her seems nausiated by anything she puts out that isnt inherently pop or electronic. and especially her team seem allergic to anything messy, if they truly wanted an album that was gross and weird, they wouldve made it weird, but it isnt. its cust corperate pandering in disguise. if brat didnt have that album cover, then it would simply be just another bland charli album. there is nothing out of the ordinary or inherently interesting about brat. i wish brat either told us that it was supposed to be that flat in the first place, or that they wouldve waited to put it out in a messier, more finished state.

i don't hate anyone that fell prey to the purposefully predacious cycle brat was. we are all broken down so much right now, and some people just want to rub salt in the would while telling us its just water, that we need this album, this book, this cleanser, that we need brat. we dont need brat. what we need is to step away from the internet and find smaller creators to support, and find art with more of a soul in it. because as much as charli wants you to think, brat isnt an album. its got to be your life. dont let it be.